summer shopping

Well it was 85 here today and jeans were just not an option. I searched for some capris or shorts from last year and put on a pair of 18's. they fell right to the floor. Then I put on a 16 and wore them all day but boy were they falling down. Tomorrow i am going out of town for a couple days and it will be pretty warm and I will be seeing some people I haven't seen in years. I would prefer not to have my pants falling off of me.
I went to the cheapest clothing store there is, Walmart of course, and filled my cart with 150 bucks of clothes. I got 4 large v-neck shirts. 3 collared shirts, 1 denim capri, 1 dress capri for work, a pair of shorts and a khaki pair of capris as well, oh yea and a long sleeve medium shirt for next year tha was on clearance. I also got a night shirt. Now I didn't try anything on, which means I am still a little scared they won't fit. I bought all 14's no elastic this year. I am praying they fit otherwise I will have nothing to wear for the trip.
I took some pictures from easter and I have one from last year so hopefully I can post them side by side for a comparison. I'm off for the week because of spring break! Wanting to get some of the things I have been putting off forever done.

my daughters new job is not a good thing for my band

I now go to Burger King 3 to 5 times a week. For a food addict this is not a good thing. I dropped her off the other day and it was around lunch time so what did I do I picked up lunch. A kids cheeseburger meal. I removed the bread because if I ate it I would so have had keeled over in the car from the pain and probably thrown up as well. So I had the burger and the onion rings. Did you know you could get onion rings with a kids meal? Bonus! I waited for an hour till I drank my kids light lemonade which I doctored up with some sugar free rasberry syrup. (love it)
So that wasn't bad you know. Problem is my younger daughter didn't eat her meal. And you know you can't just waste food. So like 2 hours later I finished her kids meal fries and 1 chicken nugget. I guess still not terrible but not healthy food I should be eating.
In other news, never buy easter candy before easter. It is sort of like halloween candy except it is pink and blue. Just don't do it ladies. Cause your going to eat them. I have managed to eat 3/4 of a bag of peanut m&M's in 3 days. I just can't handle it. That is not to mention the 20 or so easter marshmallows I ate. Which I bought with good intentions to use as a sorting activity with my 2 toddlers. But they were just marshmallows no chocolate. You see how I make excuses to myself that it is not so bad? I feel like Ruby. Anybody watch her this week?
Guess I need to remove my debit card out of my wallet before I drop off my daugther this week for work. Probably the only way I won't be tempted.

why do I eat so much

Ok here is my day breakfast 2 cups of decaf - I have been eliminating my protein and I need to stop lunch salad with a little cheese, hard boiled egg and croutons. I figure about 400 calories with that and dressing I also had a chex cereal bar today and some pretzels, now that I think about it I had some cheetos too. OMG I am a pig when you write it all down. dinner whatever I make. tonight I had a slice and a half of pizza, but while I was waiting for it to cook I had some doritos, and a handful of chocolate chips. I know that was a terrible dinner and last nights wasn't any better. Then to top off the terrible day I picked up my teen at Burger king her first day of work. I bought mozzarella sticks, a piece of pie and french fries. Now I will say I only ate on mozzarella stick, and about 8 fries. I shared the pie with my three daughters so I probably only had about 5 bites. But .... it was just a bad day. And I had a bad day before that and before that and before that. If I didn't have the band I would have eaten way more but this just shows what an issue I have with food. I do feel restriction but obviously not enough but I think I need to really do something. This last 10 pounds that I want to lose will never come off. One because I eat like crap and two because I am pretty lazy. The biggest problem is I know what the problem is and I continue to repeat the cycle day after day after day. Anybody relate? Suggestions?

teenagers are a handful

totally off topic but I am going through some stuff with my teenager. she thinks she knows everything and we had her on punishment for some bad choices lets just say. Part of the punishment was no computer and phone. Come to find out after my husband and I have been going to bed she was taking my husbands computer and going online everynight. I am so mad. Not so much about the computer because it could be worse things but that she was going behind our back in our own house. When i ask her did she know she was doing wrong of course she said yes but she continued to do it. It wasn't just once or twice but almost everynight. Yes i am a heavy sleeper and I never thought she would go against us while we were in the house. So I am upset again, lost her trust again and am just sick of it. And what did I do first thing, just eat and eat. half a bag of cheetos, 3 cookies, bowl of cereal, hotdog, potatoes, handful of chocolate chips. And that was all last night. Tonight I had just about the same. I feel like I just can't stop. this is the addiction part of it I can't stop even when I know it is wrong and doing me no good. Which is why I can't get off this 176 pounds. Nor am I exercising. Anyone out there going to therapy and found any help in it? I seriously am considering it. Why can i not get past this terrible cycle of eating for stress and boredom? What a mess.

nothing like throwing up at Chuck E Cheese

Well Ithought the fill didn't work since I am still hungry and craving chocolate and banana milkshakes like no ones business. Tonight I went to Chuck E Cheese since my school was having a fundraiser there. I ordered a small pizza and when I say small it was small. Before the band I could have eaten the whole thing. I ate one peice very small peice I might add. And about 15 minutes later I started to eat my salad. Fast forward 4 minutes and I got that feeling something ain't right. Rush the bathroom and I guess you would call it a PB. Lots of spit then a big burp sound and viola a nice tablespoon or two of throwup. Then I feel better and read to eat more. I don't of course but the mental games that are going on in my mind is just a battle. When I got in the car I tried to eat a little more salad but didn't have a fork. I ate some crust and am done for the night. For lunch I had 1 scrambled egg and 2 slices of turkey bacon. Would have been a good day except I also ate a Twix bar. Yes both bars really 250 calories. last night since my husband is gone and why should I cook we went to Friendlys. Normally I would have ordered a turkey club melt with the fries and an order of mozzarella sticks and a happy ending sundae. Since sundaes make everything have a happy ending. But I ordered an appetizer size chicken quesadilla. I had one section, ran to the bathroom and had a very similar episode to the one I had tonight. I did eat about 10 mini carrots before I got there and I guess that sort of filled me up more than I knew it. When I got home 45 minutes later I finished the rest of the meal I started at Friendlys. See how weird that is! I mean shouldn't I only be able to eat one more slice instead of the 4 that were left? I guess that is what frustrates me about the band.