Just how much have I lost?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Forgive me for I have sinned.

I had a bad two days. It started out with me buying some snacks and soda for a few friends that were coming over. I mean you can't expect them to drink boring water just because of you.
I made some pumpkin cookies and those pillsbury ghost cookies,as well as a few dips and a veggie tray.
All was going well until the guests left and then I just went crazy. I had 2 cookies and a diet cherry coke. Oh my lord was it good.
For breakfast all of the cookies were not gone so I finished them up and yes it was about 8 that I ate to clean the plate. A little later I had a few pumpkin cookies and some more soda. For lunch I ate some tortilla chips and dip, now the chips were baked although i think the more you eat of them the less effective they are at being low fat.
Well today I threw away the rest of the pumpkin cookies and the dip for the chips.
I still have some diet cherry coke left and chances are I'll drink it tonight.
I could blame this on having my Aunt Flow for a visit, or having good food in the house for the first time since the surgery but I think it just boils down to keeping my mouth closed.
As I said before I know I am a food addict and it got me to thinking about drug addicts. Do drug addicts have a higher success of quitting then overweight people have of keeping weight off?
I am not saying that it would be easier to stop doing drugs, but I think that at least with drugs once you keep them out of your house you never have to see them again. With food no matter what you do it will always be there. Driving down the street, vending machines, friends, co-workers, birthday cakes, the temptation is always there.
Just wondering if anyone else ever thought about it.

Monday, October 18, 2010

a few things I've noticed

I can't eat what I normally would like to, I can't order what I want when I pull through the local fast food restaurants, I don't enjoy food as much as I did which at some times I sort of miss since so much of my life revolved around food before the band.

However I was thinking of how things have changed for the better.
For the first time in probably 10 years my husband can put his arms all the way around me.
For the first time in probably 15 years he just out of the blue gives me a compliment.
I can tie my shoes without having to open my legs to give room for my stomach.
I can jog up the stairs and not be out of breath.
I can fit in a car and not have to move the seat down to fit my legs under the steering wheel.
I can shop on the regular side of Cato.
I get compliments from my co-workers for the first time ever.
Men hold doors open for me when I go into a store. No lie they would just walk in front of me and close them before.

Now with all that being said I still am a big girl. I am still just a few pounds away from 200 and in the obese catagory. I still have what seems like a lot of weight to lose since it is coming off so slowly now. But I think of how far I have come and how much I appreciate the changes in my life and sometimes it makes the longing for bellying up to a buffet just a little bit easier to take.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Donuts really don't do anything for me

As my name is Donut Diva you can tell I have a love affair with them. I used to buy a dozen glazed donuts from Walmart eat a few for breakfast then come home and heat them up for a few seconds in the microwave for an afternoon snack. Man was that good. Then of course I can't tell you how many times a week I would go to Dunkin Donuts and get a #1. One glazed, one chocolate frosted, an xl coffee with extra cream and extra sugar.
Well I haven't done that in close to a year. But today I didn't have my protein coffee and we were going to a pumpkin patch. So I decided why not get one glazed donut just for old times sake.
I got a nice cup of decaf with splenda and when I was finished got right into the tasty gooey morsel I was going to call breakfast. Well three bites in and I was done. I mean call the paramedics I am having chest pain. I told my husband get a bag ready because I might need to spit. No spitting but at least 10 minutes of chest pain.
So my breakfast was coffee and 3 bites of donut. Now a few hours later and I am feeling hungry. Nothing at the pumpkin patch I could eat. First time I went without buying funnel cake or fries, and on the way home the only thing I saw was a sub shop. I refuse to have any more tuna or salads this week. But what did I find in the carseat next to me? Well the rest of my donut just laying there so inviting. And so the saga continues. I ate three more bites and back again to the chest pain. I'll admit it, I have no will power. If there is something in the house that I like I feel the need to revisit it all night until I have had several bites or servings. Having a donut even when it causes me pain in my presence just is too much for me. Thank God for the band, without it I would never be able to turn down donuts or any other type of food.
What did I learn? As much as I love them, it really isn't worth the pain. Hopfully the scale won't move in the wrong direction because of my bad judgements this week.
I also had a bag of m&m's on Tuesday. I used to have one a day at my break. I passed on the cake that was sitting in the teacher's lounge, and the box of munchkins there on Wednesday.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

hard to get the water down

I know I need to up my water intake. I have tried like 17 different cups, mugs and huge kegs to keep it in. The best one that keeps it cold all day is the bubba keg, but it doesn't fit in the car cup holders. Try driving with that big thing in between your legs. Ok don't try it I'll give you a glimpse into what you will experience- cold thighs, difficulty turning the steering wheel, and an uncomfortable ride. Then you decide you should put it on the seat next to you, but as soon as you put on the brakes or make a turn it falls off the seat and spills everywhere.

Then I got various plastic kinds but they sweat so much it gets everything around them wet. So then I just brought bottles of water but I end up only drinking one since i never get to the refrigerator to get the second one I brought. Oh the drama of getting all your water in. It was so much easier when I just went to the soda machine and bought a cold diet coke. Just the thought of a diet coke makes me sigh. I miss them so much. It has been one whole year since I had one, if you don't count the one I bought about a month ago at Sonic. But that was a fluke I just had to have one and I was there, and it was half price, and I swear the man at the drive thru knew how much I wanted one and suggestively sold it to me. But it was good. And I still miss them.

Speaking of refrigerators, I remembered that I left my half of a Subway salad at school over the long weekend. That just sucks. I mean I would have had it for dinner last night or lunch today if I would have brought it home. I hate when I do that.

What do you use to drink your 8 glasses a day?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A few things not to do when you have restriction

Thought I should review a few things you shouldn't do when you have restriction
1. eat a lukewarm or cold mozzarella stick
2. drink a swig of milk to wash down a cookie
3. have a normal size piece of cake even if it is your birthday
4. have macaroni and cheese
5. try and eat a toasted sub from subway
6. eat any kind of bread
7. have a donut hole
8. eat a piece of your kids pancake
9. eat fast or at your regular speed before the band
10. go back for seconds

All of the above are things that I have done within the last month and have all caused me to throw up or spit like a camel. I even threw up in the car. Word from the wise : the Subway bag that the cookies come in does not hold throw up quite well.